Inspire. Create. Write.TM
Dear Ignorance, lend me your Ears!
After many conversations with you, I have finally realized that nothing I say, do, write or paint will evoke an epiphany in your condescending thoughts. You, who constantly bash on the withering souls because you don’t understand what it’s like to have your heart on your sleeve and a broken heart without choice. Because you see, every time I step into the distorted play we call reality, when I enter the world, YOUR world, I refuse to bow down to your social standards, morals, and beliefs. Because I will not hide the way I feel, I will not wear a mask and sacrifice who I am so you can feel comfortable. I will no longer stand by as you torment another person’s thoughts again and again with sayings like
“Get over it”
“Have you ever tried to just, not be like that all the time?”
“Attention Seeker, that’s all you are”
Because I’ve been there. I’ve stood at the edge of insanity, and pulled myself back into sanity with sheer strength and faith in a God. Who, I am pretty sure has big things in store for me. I’ve been there, seeing someone slowly kill themselves, poisoning their body with any kind of feel-good drug to get away from the never-ending circle of lies, despair and trickery that mental illness just so happens to carry with it. But you see mental illness isn’t satisfied with being alone. No. Misery loves company, and company it will bring.
Feelings of inferiority, check. Self-hatred, check. Loneliness, check. Addiction, check. Anger, check. Anxiety, check.
Then again maybe you are reading this saying, why? Why is she writing this to me? Maybe because I know that playing house while posting status updates with a ~LifeIsBeautiful~ hashtag and an edited picture of a sunrise, you barely took two seconds to appreciate, is not the way to find happiness. Because life is fucking beautiful, but I don’t look for it in a hashtag, I look for it in the dark. I look for it in the ashes left behind from where a Phoenix just arose. I look for it in the eyes of a human being in so much pain, that they feel they can’t even take one more breath, but they do in any way.
So maybe you won’t understand this post because there are no hashtags, no edited quotes with an inspirational saying. That’s okay. But just know, that I’ve risen from a dark, cold prison named depression. I’ve defeated my own thoughts and broken through the restraints of every instinct in my body. And I will not idly stand by to watch you break down the struggling, I won’t let you interfere with their healing anymore. Barking out your irrelevant comments and destructive criticism. I am strong enough to stand against you and your ignorant thoughts.
With not so much love,
~That person you made The Comment to, but probably don’t even remember.
Great minds think alike but fools never differ.
Dear Wandering souls, lend me your hearts!
I am writing this because I believe your story Must be heard. That too many of us have become unbridled with our focus on the negative. We turn on the news and all we see is how much this beautiful earth has been tarnished. I need them to see you, I need them to feel what I’ve felt.
Remember that interview? I do, you sat in quiet peace while the ladies did all the talking. I shook your hand and that was all I thought of it. In surprise, I got hired and your wisdom was revealed. You knowingly gave authority away without attachment. Which in turn gave them a sense of purpose apart from their daily, monotonous duties. It was the first mark of a True leader if I ever saw one. Before you, I had never known what it meant to be appraised or encouraged to do anything. At most I had to previously force-feed my own ambition. In the days and weeks to come you gave me purpose, tasks that were not meant for a lowly new employee. It pushed me to do more, learn more and above all, it made me actually enjoy something that I never thought I would.
Before you I believed everything was all about me this, me that. I should have this, or I didn’t get that because of this. Upon sideward glances, I noticed something new. No one felt lower than you, no one inherently avoided you. They gravitated to you and you shepherded them to be better. In those moments, you taught me to not be better than my fellow man but be better than my previous versions. That by helping others get what they want, automatically gets you what you want. I have carried this with me always. A number of times you pulled up your sleeves and jumped into the trenches with us was truly astounding. You didn’t need to do it yet you did. In truth, before you, I had only heard of the word Mentor. You weren’t just someone to aspire to be but someone to inspire them all.
We would have never found that funding to help the children’s hospital without those late nights you pulled, combing through the never-ending financials. We would have never all come together as a unit of singular motivation to find homes for those that had never known of one. I shudder to think of what would have happened to all those wandering souls had you not been there. Thank you for teaching me the value in appreciating every soul, no matter the flaw. If that was what it meant to be a real man, then you rocked it in spades.
In the wake of your silence, I have written this poem.
Let the dead raise again,
And Death I shall becometh, lay your smoky ring upon my finger.
You are the entity of inevitable choice,
And from Chaos we were all born. It’s what binds us, keeps us and forgets us…
There is but only one face I would condemn all of my humanity.
So I say this now. Yes, Hear Me!
Bring me the Doors of thyself,
So I may retrieve what was taken.
Lay claim to my soul and punish my sin,
But deny me none, for Death I shall becometh.
In this tiny little sphere of ours, within the ever expanding sheer mass of the World, you have done more for humanity than they will ever know. Know that in the abyss of darkness, you were that speck of light to break through and free us.
So I know now that I must continue, I must live with the legacy you created. I promise you I will never falter or fail in this mission. Every child saved will know your name, they will come to have hope again and overcome the adversity thrust upon them. They will have hearth again, I swear it against all damnation. I will live every day in honor of your greatness, bringing the Light to all those shackled with the darker parts of humanity.
In finality, I am humbled by the destiny you left me with. Yes, we will soar, we will Phoenix.
This I lay my promise, this I lay my heart.
Find peace my brother.
~”Be kind to one another.”~ Ellen DeGeneres
“The Light & The Dark: Open Letters to the Anonymous”
Enricoh Alfonzo & the impeccably talented, Sumarie SteenKamp.
I am so honored to have her guest blog on this post. You don’t have to guess to know that her outstanding work is the first letter.
Sumarie is a web-designer by profession with a passion for words unlike any other that I have ever met. She devotes her spare time to helping friends and promoting other bloggers (I know right? Literary Saint).
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